


Holiday Inn: Storybrooke

by Alsike



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Accidental Marriage, Alternate Universe - Ordinary People, Awkward Situation, Emma/Killian/Ruby - Adopted Siblings, F/F, Femslash, Granny & Gold have sadly passed, Literary Agent Lacey, Pirate Themed Weddings!, Subversive, Swan Queen Week, Weddings, Wildly OOC Milah
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-08
Updated: 2014-06-08
Packaged: 2018-02-03 20:14:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1756037
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alsike/pseuds/Alsike
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Emma and Ruby return to Storybrooke for their brother Killian's big pirate-themed wedding, Emma expects his fiancée to be a gold digger, she doesn't expect Ruby to fall for the hot bi girl, or for her to take a shine to Ruby in return.  Emma makes a plan to catch them in a clinch, and end this wedding before it begins. But Emma has problems of her own, namely a cute little boy and his smoking hot mother.  Ruby, on the other hand, is starting to suspect that the problems with this wedding aren't all on Lacey's side. Her dilemma is a nasty one: try and fix things between her brother and Lacey and stay friends with them both, or break them up and lose Killian with only the hope that Lacey will pick her.</p><p>With pirates and sushi and blasts from the past, this wedding will be like nothing Storybrooke has ever seen.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Day 1

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to my private Subversive Swan Queen Week celebration, in which I steal all the prompts intended for Emma and Regina and throw them at Ruby and Lacey. This fic really was intended to be a simple walking in on makeouts Awkward Situation fic, but then it exploded. :) And look, there's actually Swan Queen in it! The shock!
> 
> Sorry for the crazy OOCness! I really don't watch this show (any show), which is why I'm still writing Red Lace. :)

It was always strange, coming back to Storybrooke.  You could only fly as far as Portland, and if you didn’t rent a car, you were stuck with one bus a day.  Ruby stepped off the plane into the Portland airport, and looked around.  Maine.  She was back.

At the baggage claim she found her red wheely bag and glanced around.

“Ruby!”

The squeal barely registered before a figure hit Ruby from behind.  She dropped her bag and nearly toppled over.  Sturdy arms grabbed her and righted her.

“Emma.” Ruby recognized her attacker, and threw her arms around her and hugged her in return. “It’s been years!”

“Oh my god, it’s so good to see you!”

The flutters of excited reconnection created a vortex of happiness around them. It had been years. But back in those days, they had been sisters.

They split the driving, Emma’s car making small and distressing sounds of protest at being driven so far, and caught up furiously.  Emma was working in Portland as a paralegal while she was studying for the bar. Ruby was in New York, a sous chef at Nobu.

“Seeing anyone?” Emma asked with a wiggle of the eyebrows.

Ruby laughed. “If I was, you wouldn’t be my date to this wedding.”

“Have you met this girl that Killian’s marrying?” Emma asked, frowning slightly.  “I kind of don’t like what I heard.”

Ruby nodded slightly. Killian sounded smitten, all Lacey this, Lacey that.  But he wasn’t great at figuring out who was interested in him and who was interested in his money.  He had just been a lowly diving instructor, when he found a wreck of a pirate ship off the coast.  Just the doubloons had been sold to collectors for over half a million dollars, and everything else had pushed him into the stratosphere.

“I heard she’d been married before,” Ruby said.  “Isn’t she our age?”

Emma laughed. “Some people actually have relationships before they’re twenty eight.  But I heard that her husband died. Gold digger, all the signs.”

“We’ll have to meet her before we judge.”

Emma rolled her eyes. “Don’t be so nice. I just want to dish the dirt.”

“And how about you?” Ruby asked, narrow eyed.  “Marriage appearing on your horizons?”

Emma flushed and the car went bump over the side of the road.  She righted it quickly.  “I, um, no.  I’m not – really, looking for that right now.”

Ruby, suddenly suspicious, watched her.  That didn’t say single to her.

*            *            *

It was hard to go past the diner, now empty and boarded up.  Ruby stood outside, missing Granny, missing her childhood.  It had been a good time, back then. She’d been taken in, along with Emma and Killian, three orphans and a grandmother, making up a little family. They’d been there for each other, even when the shit hit the fan, Killian’s shoplifting, Ruby’s getting outed, Emma getting pregnant in senior year, and they were fine.  It was all thanks to Granny, though, and Ruby missed her more than anyone.

“Well, it looks like there used to be a place to eat in this town.”

Ruby jolted and glanced around.  There was a young woman, standing a few feet away, also looking at the boarded up diner. She glanced over to Ruby and offered a raised eyebrow.  “Sadly, now we will all starve.”

Ruby laughed a little. “It was the best place too. Lots of food, low prices.”

“Ah,” the woman drawled, “niced itself out of business.”

“Nah,” Ruby looked away. “The owner died. No one wanted to start it up again.”

“I presume,” the woman said, sauntering toward her, cat-like in her confidence, “that you’re from around here, if you know all this.  So, I presume, you know where someone _can_ actually get food in this town?”  She wrinkled her nose.  “I was going to say shithole, but you _are_ from here.”

Ruby frowned at her, amused but confused.  “If you really wanted to be polite, you wouldn’t have added that last part.”

The woman grinned, “I know.”

It was the grin that did it. Ruby had found her surprising, a little amusing, kind of odd, but with the grin she was meltingly sexy. She had lush dark wavy hair, eyes that glinted blue, a sexy blue tank-top on over black jeans, and strappy heels. The tank top was open enough to expose a good portion of her black lacy bra.  Attractive and a little odd, that was kind of Ruby’s type. She smiled and offered an arm.  “I do, in fact, know where one can get food in this town.  May I escort you there?”

“You may indeed.”

The struggling wrap place down the street was one of the only decent places to eat, now that the diner was closed, so Ruby lead the way there, rather interested in finding out more about the woman walking at her side. “So, I shouldn’t really talk since I don’t live here anymore, but Storybrooke really doesn’t get a lot of passers through. What brings you here?”

“Oh, you know, social events,” the woman waved an annoyed hand.  “A wedding, actually. It’s supposed to be party all the time, but I know hardly anyone, and I hate people, so I snuck off to go find my own lunch, and maybe somewhere quiet to catch up on queries.”

Ruby blinked. Was it the same wedding she was here for?  One of the bride’s party?  But there was a further puzzle in the utterance.  “Queries?  What are those?”

The woman smiled. “Query letters, people pitching their novels to me.  I’m a literary agent.  I crush people’s dreams for a living.”

“Ohhh.” Ruby did not know a lot about publishing, but you couldn’t work at a fancy restaurant in Midtown for as long as she had and not know about the Agent meetings with famous authors that they always expensed to their companies.  The waitstaff always knew to press them with tempting descriptions of appetizers and recommendations of the most top-end wines.

The woman gave her a suspicious look.  “You’re not going to tell me you’re thinking about writing a novel, now, are you?”

Ruby blinked. “What?  No.  No way.  Me, write a novel?” She shook her head.  “I read them sometimes, you know, when I can’t bear my life anymore and need a break from thinking about it, and shockingly, don’t have twelve other things that need doing.”

The woman laughed and nodded. “We have that in common then. You’d think an agent would actually have time to read, but no.”

“You based in New York?”

“Course.”

Ruby smiled. “Then we have that in common too. I work at Nobu. Maybe you’ve eaten my sushi.”

The woman gave her a dark look and waggled her eyebrows.  “Now that was unexpectedly dirty, Miss…”

“Ruby, uh,” Ruby stuck out her hand.  “I’m Ruby.”

“Isabelle,” the woman drawled. “No one actually calls me that, but hell, I really don’t feel like being me right now.  Too much stress.  So I am giving you the gift of calling me by my real name.”

Ruby gave a slight bow. “I am most honored.”

Isabelle(?)’s smile danced.

Ruby hadn’t planned on staying away from the party for lunch, but since she was here, she might as well eat, she thought.  She was honest enough with herself to know if there hadn’t been a beautiful woman seeming to want her company, she would have bailed immediately.

“So, Miss – Chef at Nobu – should I expect wonders from these wraps, or atrocities?”

Ruby took a bite of hers, and chewed contemplatively. “Mmm, a warmed tortilla, fresh lettuce, only moderately dry chicken, and an excitingly preservative filled sauce. I would say, average, but on the high side.”

Isabelle gave her a grin and a nod.  “I am appeased.”

Ruby didn’t click with people that often.  She could flirt her ass off, if need be, but easy, low-stakes banter, that was calming and fun. Sure, she’d like to take this girl home, but it was early afternoon, and she had other things to do that day. Best goal was phone number, and really, it didn’t matter if she got it or she didn’t, as long as she had a good time at lunch.

But when lunch was over, Isabelle glanced at her watch and wrinkled her nose.  “God, I’ve only had an hour away from them. Is there anything else to do in this godforsaken town?”

Ruby blinked. “You don’t want to do your ‘queries’?  I could show you the library?”

Isabelle scowled. “Ugh, queries. No, I think I’ll put them off, unless you have somewhere to be?”

“No, not really. I could… play tour guide? I was going to go and walk down by the docks anyway, just to see my old stomping grounds.”

Isabelle smiled. “Sounds like fun.”

There was something about being with a pretty girl that brought out the competitiveness in Ruby. She hadn’t been under the wharf in years, but when Isabelle gave her a sly look and started disbelieving her tales about her and her foster siblings adventures there, Ruby slipped right down in.  Isabelle, leaving her heels on the dock, followed and they scrambled about, playing an impromptu form of chase and tag on slippery beams in the damp cool salty hollow until a policeman stuck his head down and scolded them.

Isabelle’s face was pink with exertion and she had a green streak of algae on her nose. They were both rumpled and a little dirty, and Ruby hadn’t had so much fun in years.  But Isabelle was a mess.

“Oh god, sorry for getting you into that.” she said, going after the nose algae with a kleenex.

Isabelle caught her wrist. “I’m not.” She was pretty and windblown, and looking up, intent, and Ruby thought that if she kissed her, right at that moment, she might get kissed back. She moved forward.

“Clear out, you two,” the policeman called, and the spell broke.

Isabelle went even redder, and caught up the tissue to wipe her own face.  She checked her watch.  “Oh shit,” she said, “I gotta go somewhere at three, and I’m a mess. Better get back.”

“Me too,” Ruby said.

They had walked about three blocks when Isabelle cast a suspicious look over her shoulder. “You know, I really do have to be somewhere at three.  And I didn’t mean the ‘I need to clean up’ as, I have time for a quickie in the shower, okay?  So, um, scooch.”

Ruby felt herself flushing. “I, god, I’m just going this way too.  I’ve got to get to the Holiday Inn.”

“Oh,” Isabelle scrunched up her face in embarrassment.  “You’re staying there too?”

“There really isn’t any other place to stay in town, now that the Inn closed.”

“Now I’m a douche.”

Ruby laughed. “Just arrogant.” She hesitated.  “Not that I would say no if you figured we’d have time for a quickie in the shower.”

Isabelle gave her an intent look.  “Oh, really? Well, justified arrogance then.”

“But now I’m hurt that you’d say no to me.”

Isabelle gave her a rough half-smile.  “Ah, the good old days when I was single.  You would be on your back so fast.”

“Good reasons.” Ruby ducked her head. “Look, I really enjoyed hanging out with you today, so you know, like, any other time you want to take a break, or do something dumb, while we’re both here—”

“Give me your phone,” Isabelle said, and then snagged it, typing in her digits.  She hit send until hers rang.  Then she handed the phone back.  “Call me, sometime,” she said, and disappeared into the Holiday Inn.

Ruby scrolled through her contacts list.  There was nothing under ‘I’.  Then she found it. The entry: ‘Totally Sexy Lit Agent’ had a New York number beside it.  Ruby laughed and slid the phone into her pocket.  That girl was crazy.  And she might be with someone now, but she really hadn’t shut the door on a follow up.  Either way, Ruby might have made a friend.

*            *            *

Emma hadn’t been able to find Ruby during lunch, and though Killan had welcomed her with a hug, he hadn’t been able to introduce her to Lacey, who had apparently claimed a headache and had holed up in the hotel room.  Emma wished she had bailed for lunch too.  She didn’t get back to Storybrooke as often as she’d like, and there were people she wanted to see.

She found her phone instead. “Hey, I’m in town,” she typed. “Mind if I stop in tonight?”

“If you want to see him, come before ten, please,” was the brusque response.  But it was a yes.  Emma smiled.

“Hey you!” It was Ruby, finally, looking flushed and a little damp. “Anything been happening?”

Emma frowned at her. “Nothing, except I couldn’t find you.  Did you… pull?” she asked.

Ruby gaped at her for a moment, and then laughed.  “What? No.  I just went downtown for lunch.”

“For three hours? And you didn’t invite me?”

Ruby winced. “I wasn’t actually planning on staying that long.  I just wanted to see the diner.  I just… ended up talking to someone, and so I ate lunch with her and then we hung around the docks for a bit.”

Emma stared hard at her. “Oh my god, you met someone.”

“I _didn’t_!  I mean, she was hot and I would have gone for that, but she’s with someone, so nothing happened.”  Ruby smiled.  “Well, I got her digits.  But that’s all.”

“You dog.” Emma shook her head, grinning. “We’re at a wedding.”

Ruby made a face. “I’m kind of worried that she’s in the wedding too.  She’s staying here, and needed to be back for three, which is fittings, right? And, I mean, I wouldn’t mind seeing her again, not at all.  But still, maybe a bit awkward.”

Emma laughed. “Awkward indeed.”

“Ruby!” Killian shouted, and threw his arms around her.  “How’s my best man?”

Ruby hugged her brother back fiercely.  “How are _you_?  How come I haven’t seen you for a _year_?”

Killian gave her his usual rakish grin.  “You know, life, love, or on your part, raw fish.”

Ruby smacked his shoulder lightly.

Emma wrinkled her nose. “Why does _she_ get to be best man?”

“Because if I get cold feet, I need someone who will marry the girl,” he said laughing.  “And as far as I know, you’re still straight.”

Emma looked suddenly awkward and Ruby’s eyebrows shot up her forehead.  “Oh, you and me are having a talk later,” she said. But then she turned back to Killian. “Anyways, I think she’s seeing someone, whereas I am still totally available, and therefore am perfect for the job of stand in.” She elbowed Killian in the side. “Now, when do I get to meet my prospective bride?”

Killian fake growled at her. “She’s still my girl, and my feet are totally hot,” he said, “so don’t get your hopes up.”

A tall woman with cascading dark hair and an intensely gorgeous appearance strode up to Killian. Ruby gaped slightly. “Is this…”

Killian looked over. “Oh, no! This is Milah,” he said. His scruffy cheeks seemed to pinken, and he grew a little stiff.  “She’s…”

“I’m the bride’s previous husband’s ex-wife,” she said, her tones a bit self-deprecating. “And, for some inexplicable reason, Matron of Honor.”

Emma gaped. Ruby looked rather bewildered. “You were—”

“I was thrown over for the younger model,” Milah said, entirely unamused.  “But oddly enough, the younger model has even fewer women friends than I do, and so we found ourselves entangled in something resembling acquaintance.” Milah gave Ruby the side-eye. “Although if you’re the best man, perhaps I could have been replaced with one of Lacey’s plethora of sturdily handsome gay companions.”

Ruby smiled awkwardly. She was probably going to have to escort this woman down the aisle.  Couldn’t it have been someone who wasn’t taller than her?

A child walked up to the group.  Killian noticed him first. “Neal, my man!” he exclaimed and swooped down to gather the boy into a hug.  He couldn’t be older than ten. Ruby’s eyes slid over to Emma, who was looking more amused at Killian being good with kids than angsty. That was comforting.

“This is Neal,” Killian said. “Our handsome little ring bearer.”

Neal ducked his head and blushed at all the attention he was getting.

“My son,” Milah said, flatly.

“And Lacey’s step-son,” Killian added. “Though that’s all a bit weird now that his father, is well…” He looked down at Neal and tousled his hair. Neal gave a strong little-boy smile.

Ruby and Emma exchanged a glance.  This whole situation was a bit weird.

“Killian!  There you are.” A figure swooped in, looping an arm around Killian and pulling him down, into a kiss.

“Have a good rest, doll?”

The woman wrapped around Ruby’s foster brother was undeniably familiar.  In a sleek dress and with freshly blow-dried waves of hair and perfect make-up, she was miles away from how Ruby had last seen her, mussed and intense and streaked with algae.  But there was no denying it.  It was her.

“ _Shit_.”

“Definitely.”

“Lace, meet my family,” Killian said.  “This is my sister Emma, and this is Ruby.”

Lacey turned to look, and when her eyes fell on Ruby, she froze solid.  They hadn’t done anything, Ruby thought to herself, they _hadn’t_ , and yet…

“Ruby.” Lacey offered a smile, so practiced it didn’t look forced, and stepped up to shake her hand. “Lovely to meet you… officially. Killian has told me so much about you.”

“Um.” So they were denying it, sort of. “Yes, you too.”

“And Emma,” Lacey’s smile relaxed and she stepped right in, kissing Emma on the cheek. “Truly lovely.”

“Uh, yeah,” Emma said. “Sure.”  She kept glancing from Lacey to Ruby’s hand, as if she couldn’t understand why it was Ruby who got the stiff handshake.

“So,” Killian said, oblivious to the weirdness.  “I hear there are fittings now?”

*            *            *

“Ruby,” Emma said, highly suspicious, as they hustled down the hallway to where the fittings were going to be held.  “What the hell was that?”

“Um,” Ruby said, “you know that girl I said I had lunch with, and got her number, but nothing else because she was with someone.  Yeah, that was Lacey.”

Emma froze. “Oh.  _Ohhhhh_.” That look that had been on Lacey’s face. Suddenly her worries about Lacey being a gold digger were replaced by much more serious one.  “You wanted to bang her,” Emma said.

“ _Emma_ ,” Ruby hissed.  “She’s my brother’s fiancée!”

“But you didn’t know that then.  And she wanted to bang you.”

“She didn’t.”

“Come on.  She shook your hand.  She totally wanted to bang you but didn’t trust herself to get too close, god, I knew she was a ho.”

“Emma!” Ruby whirled on her. “Shut _up_.  You don’t know anything about her.  Of _course_ she gave me a handshake.  I had been hitting on her like crazy and she turned me down.  She didn’t want to give me any ideas.”

“No,” Emma said. “It’s not that simple. She lied to Killian about where she was at lunch.  She said she was in the hotel room with a headache.  Instead she was out picking up girls.”

“She went out for lunch, Emma. It’s not a crime!”

“And she has a _kid_.”

Ruby frowned. “Only kinda.”

Emma gave a short sharp nod. “That’s what makes me worry. Killian seems to really like the kid.  But she didn’t even look at the boy.”

“This isn’t any of our business!”

Emma scowled. “It _is_ our business.  If it’s clear that Lacey isn’t any good for him, it’s our job, as his sisters, to get her off of him.”

Ruby sighed. “I liked her, Emma, when I met her before.  She’s fun.”

I know,” Emma said, giving her a hard, suspicious look.  “That’s part of the problem.”

*            *            *

The debate ended for the duration of the fitting, which was split into bride’s party and groom’s party. Ruby enjoyed the teasing by the rest of the groomsmen, mostly Killian’s old diving friends, and really enjoyed the clothing they were being fitted with.  Killian was going with a pirate theme for the wedding.

Trying on an eyepatch, Ruby caught up with Killian at the mirrors.  “So this is awesome,” she said.

“I know.” Killian grinned at her, and brandished a scimitar rakishly. 

“And Lacey was really on board with it?”

“On board? She was up the rigging!” Then he laughed.  “She said it sounded fun.  She’s a cool girl.”

“Yeah, I kind of got that.”

Killian smiled. “I knew you’d like her. She reminded me of you when I first met her – the sort of girl who takes her partying as seriously as her work.”

“And Milah?”

“Oh, Milah’s great, and little Neal.” He grinned.  “He was stoked about the pirate theme.”  He looked around, and then frowned. “Actually, I was hoping I could help him pick a costume.  But I guess I’m not supposed to see the girls before the big day.”  He cocked his head.  “Do you think you could run down there and see if little Neal wants to join us?”

“Um,” Ruby shrugged. “Sure.”

She was dressed enough to be presentable, in breeches and boots, with the sword she had fought the other guys for dangling from her belt, so she strode down the hall to the other room. She knocked politely. Milah, looking absolutely amazing in pirate garb, opened the door.  Ruby gaped for a moment.

“Yes?” Milah inquired. “Is there something you need?”

Ruby got a hold of herself just as Lacey glanced over from deeper into the room.  She was only wearing a slip, and when she caught sight of Ruby she flinched.  Feeling awkward as hell, Ruby waved.  “Uh,” she said. “Killian wanted to know if Neal was interested in getting dressed with the guys.”

Milah snorted slightly. “The guys, including yourself and your sister.”

“The groom’s party then,” Ruby clarified, trying not to roll her eyes.  She found that Lacey looked like she wanted to as well and was smirking at her.

“I’m sure Neal would love to, wouldn’t you?” Lacey said, tugging Neal out from a chest of wench dresses. Neal nodded furiously. Lacey sauntered over with him in tow and pushed him toward Ruby.  Her eyes flicked up and down, taking in Ruby’s pirate attire with intensity, and a bit of criticism.  Then she reached up and unbuttoned Ruby’s collar.  “No button downs for you,” she said.  “And layer.  That will work really well, I think.”

She was too close, and mostly undressed, and now she was forbidden fruit, which only made her hotter, and Ruby had forgotten how to breathe.

“Also, dark colors. You’re _pirates_ , right?”  Then Lacey really did roll her eyes and Ruby couldn’t stop the laugh that bubbled out of her.

“Aye, aye,” she said, and snorted.  “God, _Killian_.”

“I _know_ ,” Lacey agreed, and their eyes met, all amusement and understanding.  Lacey gave her arm a light smack.  “Get on with you,” she said.  “See you at dinner.”

Ruby swallowed. She _would_ see her at dinner.  She’d spend the next four days in close quarters with this beautiful, off-limits girl.  Unsettlingly, she found herself as thrilled by the prospect as she was unhappy.  “Indeed.  And you’d better actually have clothes on then.”

Lacey scrunched her nose and shook her head, and Ruby took Neal’s hand and led him back down the hall.

*            *            *

Unsurprisingly, it was fish for dinner. When Killian got an idea in his head, he tended to go all the way.  And somehow, in the mess of tables and people that was the hotel dining room, Ruby found herself at the end of a long table, sitting kitty-corner from Lacey.

“See, clothes,” Lacey said, waving at herself.  And… they were clothes.  But the short electric blue sundress didn’t really improve the situation.

“Did you end up picking a wedding outfit?”

Lacey gave a nod around a bite of whiting.  “I had it mostly together before.  Just doing detail work.  Milah’s great at that.”

“And… this pirate theme thing, you’re really cool with it?”

Lacey laughed. “Sure.  It’s silly, but fun.  And, you know, it’s not like it’s my first wedding.”

Ruby, about to bite into her own meal, paused.  She’d forgotten that, sort of, or hadn’t really thought about it.  And for a girl who pinged bi like Lacey, it was odd that she was already on her second wedding.  “How… old are you?” she asked.

Lacey mock gasped and fanned herself in shock.  “A lady _never_ reveals her age.”

Ruby grinned and shook her head.  “My apologies. I was just wondering, you know, a cute girl like you, nearly being married twice already.”

“I was twenty-three the last time I got married,” Lacey said, laughing.  “Fresh from my master’s in library science, realizing that I _hated_ working in fucking libraries, and trying to figure out what to do with my life.  Met a rich, handsome older _married_ man, and then suddenly he’d divorced his wife and I was in Aruba with a ring on my finger.  It was kind of intense.  This is… much more under control.”

“Were you a kept woman?” Ruby asked, kind of amused by the story.  It was a bit horrible and a bit fairy tale all at once.

Oh yes.  And I was kept _well_.” Lacey smirked, and Ruby could imagine diamonds and fashion and trips to the Caribbean.  Killian could afford that too now.  And that was what worried Emma.

“And… how on earth did you become friends with Milah?” That was the most absurd part of it all. Milah was terrifying, and Ruby really doubted that she’d become best buddies with the woman her husband threw her over for.

Lacey shrugged, and glanced over, finding Milah and Neal in a booth, being waited on by a solicitous Killian, and tipped her glass to them.  Milah acknowledged it with a nod.  “Honestly, I had to.  After the honeymoon in Aruba, I had to figure out what my life was going to be like, and what Elliot expected of me.  The one thing I couldn’t get out of was dealing with Neal. Now I am _shit_ with kids,” she grinned at Ruby, shaking her head. 

Ruby laughed. “Oh god, me too.”

“And I just didn’t want to get shot by Milah, so when I was bringing Neal back and forth, we would talk. Never about Elliot, but about Neal, or her art or whatever books we were reading.  She’s a jeweler, and kind of an amazing one. When Elliot died and everyone thought I’d murdered him, she had my back.  We’ve been pretty solid ever since.”

Ruby paused. “Everyone thought you’d _murdered_ him?”

Lacey rolled her eyes. “Just because I was young and pretty and from a shitty background, it meant I had to be a gold digger. And when he died, of food poisoning, of course, I was now a black widow.  It was lovely.”

Suddenly Ruby had a flash of a newspaper she’d barely looked at, from at least four years ago. But she’d seen the curve of this woman’s face in the photograph, though obscured by sunglasses, and at that point topped by golden curls.  “You were blonde then,” she said.

Lacey gave her a look. “Um, yeah.  It was a phase.  I think I’ve probably been every hair-color in the book, save black.  I don’t think I could pull off black.”

Ruby eyed her. “No…” she said. “That might be hard.” She frowned, trying to remember the details of the article.  “And your name…”

“Isabella Gold?” Lacey shook her head.  “That was one of those things that Elliot made me do.  ‘Lacey French’ was not classy enough for him.  He said it made me sound like a playboy bunny. My first name _is_ Isabelle, but he put on the ‘a.’ I dropped his last name immediately after the case ended, and went back to Lacey.  I’d had enough of being who he wanted me to be, and I was finally free of him.”

“You… _didn’t_ kill him, did you?”

Lacey looked at her, took in her rather worried expression, and grinned.  “Can’t say I didn’t think about it.  But I was out of the country at the time.  I was cleared by a jury of my peers.”

“You weren’t happy married to him?”

Lacey shrugged.  “It wasn’t terrible.  He was very solicitous.  But he just… he didn’t let me make any decisions for myself. I’ve always been independent, and suddenly I wasn’t anymore, and it was… it was hard.  And when I disagreed, well, he was on a bit of a hair trigger.  He wouldn’t hit me or anything, but he could yell, and, well, talk shit about my background, and how he pulled me up out of the dirt, which was so much crap. So, I’m sorry he’s dead, but I’m not sorry that I’m not married to him anymore.”  Lacey narrowed her eyes. “Do you get that? Or do you think I’m a gold digging whore?”

“I get it,” Ruby said. It was crazy, but still… “I had this girlfriend while I was at the CIA—”

Lacey’s eyebrows shot up her forehead.

“Culinary school! Not the spying one. And she was a little older, and had tons of connections in the cooking world, and I didn’t realize until we’d been together for over a year that she’d latched onto me because I was good enough to get her where she wanted to go.  The problem was, she had serious dreams of the kind of restaurant she wanted to open and what _my_ career path needed to look like to get her there.  When I figured that out I was so angry that to spite her I dropped all my French courses and went into Asian styles instead.  Then I started doing the sushi, and, well,” Ruby felt herself smile.  “What can I say?  Raw fish. It’s my favorite thing in the world.”

Lacey was laughing then. “Great story, great.”

“All true!” Ruby protested. “I did offer to cater the wedding, but Killian is a little squeamish.”

Lacey rolled her eyes. “I _know_.  I love sashimi, but Killian even feels threatened by _salmon_.  I keep telling him it doesn’t taste any different cooked than raw, but he won’t even try it.”

Ruby frowned, looking back and forth between her brother and his fiancée. “That isn’t fair,” she said. “He’s got the pirate theme, and, really, everything he wanted, and you don’t even get control over one meal?”

“Ruby, it’s fine.” Lacey’s expression was half tense, half uncomfortable. “Like I said, this isn’t my first wedding.”

Ruby’s jaw set. “And the first one didn’t sound like you had any say in the matter either.  I’m going to talk to him.  I can do the rehearsal dinner at least.  We’re in Maine, right by the docks, it’ll be beautiful.” She looked at Lacey, suddenly worried.  “I mean, if you’d want that.  That’s what this is supposed to be about, not just me showing off my awesome culinary skills.”

Lacey watched her, her intense blue gaze steady and unwavering. “Yes,” she said.  “Yes, I’d like that.”

Ruby glanced up, ready to go over and accost Killian at that very moment, when instead, she caught Emma’s eye.  Emma was watching her and Lacey with a very unsettling expression.

*            *            *

“We have to stop this wedding.”

“What? Emma!” Emma was inside the coat closet and she’d grabbed Ruby and jerked her in to join her as she walked by.  “You’re crazy!”

“I am _not_.”  Emma was fiery eyed, and Ruby knew that look.  It usually meant Emma was on a crusade, and only Granny or jail time could stop her.  Ruby wished _hard_ that Granny was still in the picture. “This wedding is a mistake.”

Ruby sighed. “They’re adults, Emma. Let them make their own mistakes.”

“Aha!  You agree then!  You agree it’s a mistake!”

“What?  I never said that!”

“Come on,” Emma glowered at her.  “I saw you having dinner with Lacey.  I saw the way you were looking at her.  More importantly, I saw the way she was looking at _you._ ”

“Oh my god, Emma. We were having a conversation. We were making eye contact. It happens.  In fact, it’s polite.”  Ruby narrowed her eyes.  “In _fact_ , we were talking about how sad it is that everyone thinks she’s a gold digger.”

“You’re saying she’s not?”

Ruby opened her mouth, then closed it again.  It was a complicated story, and she really only had one side of it.  Still… “I don’t think she’s marrying Killian for his money. She married a rich dude without really thinking about it once, and it sounds like she wasn’t happy. She’s not going to make that mistake again.”

Emma subsided slightly. “I don’t trust her.”

“Killian does.”

“I just…” Emma kicked the bottom of one of the rolling coat racks.  “I don’t like the way she looks at you.”

“What do you _think_ , Emma?  That she’s suddenly going to decide to drop Killian and jump my bones?  Or that…” Ruby frowned.  “Is it because she’s bi?  Is it because _you’re_ bi?”  Ruby narrowed her eyes.  “I think you’ve just figured out that you have lesbian leanings, Emma. And you’re unsure of them. You’re scared. And you _want_ Lacey to go for me, to pick the girl, because you want to believe you can do it too.  Is that it?”

“Oh my _god_ , Ruby!  Don’t psychoanalyze me!”

Ruby laughed. “I’m right, aren’t I?” This was absurd. “I’ve been dealing with this stuff for a lot longer than you have, and yes, it hurts when the bi girl you like picks a boy over you, but it’s _her_ choice. And it doesn’t hurt any less when she picks a different girl.  So yes, I like Lacey.  If she were single, I would ask her out.  But she’s our brother’s fiancée, Emma.  It’s _too late_.”

Emma hung her head. “You’re probably right,” she said. “I’m probably reading too much into the way she looks at you.  But… isn’t it better to be safe than sorry?”

Ruby frowned. “What are you suggesting?”

“Nothing!  Nothing… special.  Just…” Emma smiled awkwardly.  “Just you keep hanging onto her, and if she makes a move, well… we’ll know, right?  Catch her in a compromising position.  And if she doesn’t, then it’ll be fine.”

Ruby stared at her. “I’m not going to try to seduce her.”

“That’s not the point. The point is if she tries to seduce _you_.”  Emma grinned.

Ruby sighed. “Emma, you are crazy.”

“I am proactive!”

“Crazy.”

*            *            *

It was crazy, but it couldn’t hurt, right?  Ruby felt awful for even considering it.  But that was two meals that Lacey had spent with _her_ and not Killian.  And it was probably the dumb result of too many RomComs, but weren’t the couple preparing for their wedding supposed to be inseparable?

On further consideration, it probably made sense for people to get to know their prospective spouse’s family.  And lots of social activity was stressful.  Sometimes people needed a break.  Ruby rubbed her temples and wondered where Emma had disappeared off to. She’d talked to Killian about the rehearsal dinner, and he had pouted, but given in eventually. He always gave into her. And… all Ruby really wanted to do was find Lacey.

Oh god.  She knew this urge, that feeling where everything else was paling, and even the most boring activity was fun when you thought you might be able to spend time with the person you liked.  This was a crush.

Her phone lit up. Ruby’s stomach clenched at the name of the texter that spread over the screen.  “Totally Sexy Lit Agent.”  _Going to the bar with Kil & evry1.  Bring Emma._

Why not?

*            *            *

Emma ignored Ruby’s text and stood outside the door, the paint perfect, the stoop swept.  It was nowhere she belonged, and yet she couldn’t be anywhere else.  Carefully, she pressed the bell.

The door opened, and the woman standing there gave her a long calm look.  “He’s already getting ready for bed,” she said, “but you can say good night to him if you’d like.”

Henry was always thrilled to see her, and when left alone, he would happily complain by listing all the things his mom made him do, like tidy his room and finish his homework and brush his teeth.

“Sounds like a great mom to me, kid,” she’d reply, and he’d smile and nod.  It had taken her a while to realize how much he loved Regina, but it had taken her hardly any time at all to realize that Regina really was a great mom for her kid.

It had been a terrible time, back in senior year, finding out that she was pregnant, and that everything she’d been planning was suddenly derailed.  Granny had been ferocious though, and she had stayed in school and kept her grades at or above their previous level.  Granny had also been the one to bring Regina over to their house.  Back then, Regina had been a young fisherman’s widow, and the strain of loneliness had clearly been the feature Granny had seen in her. With her no-nonsense attitude, Granny had set out to kill two birds with one stone.

After two chapters of his big-kid book, Henry consented to sleep, and the two women headed back down stairs.

“Would you like a drink?” Regina asked.

Emma watched her as she poured the cider and wished she hadn’t had it out with Ruby that evening. For someone she hadn’t seen in far too long, Ruby knew her better than she wanted to admit.  A stupid tipsy kiss one evening had led to more, and more had happened frequently enough that Emma knew it wasn’t an experiment. But she also didn’t know what to _do_.  How did you ask the woman who was the mother of your son if she was interested in doing more than just sleeping together without ruining everything?

“So, um, I’m going to be in town all week,” Emma said softly.  “It’s my brother’s wedding on Sunday.”

“You are welcome to see as much of Henry as you would like, barring interruptions in his schedule.”

“Actually, I was wondering… hoping. Um.  I wanted to ask…” She saw the exhausted and frustrated expression on Regina’s face, and gave up. 

“Just spit it out Emma.”

‘It doesn’t matter,” Emma said.  “Nothing important.”

*            *            *

“Ruby!”

By the time Ruby had figured out that Emma was nowhere to be found and gotten herself down to the bar, the rest of the wedding party had had a chance to start drinking. Lacey, clearly, had gotten into the good stuff.  She threw her arms around Ruby’s neck and ground up on her slightly.  Then she dragged her over to where Killian was sitting in a booth, his boots propped up on the table, nursing a Corona.

“Killian!” she announced. “This is Ruby. She’s your sister.”

Killian laughed. “Yup.  I do know that, babe.”

“I like her! She’s sweet.  And hot.  And she can cook!  This is impressive!”

Killian grabbed Lacey and pulled her into his lap.  “I can cook too, you know.  We both grew up in a diner.”

“’s true,” Lacey said, consideringly.  She curled into Killian, but reached out and caught Ruby’s arm, pulling her down beside them and half sprawling onto her as well.  “Lucases.  Sexy, can cook, all sweethearts.”

Killian caught Ruby’s eye and she smiled.  Yes, his drunk fiancée was totally cute.  And if she kind of wanted to kill him for getting to her first, well, that was a sibling feeing she was familiar with.

*            *            *


	2. Day 2

“It’s arrived!”

Killian, far too excited for a morning after a bar night, leapt around the hotel dining room, utterly thrilled.  Lacey, scowling over a mimosa, caught Ruby’s eye and made an ironic grimace. But as soon as breakfast was done, the wedding party dragged themselves down to the docks, where a sailing yacht of ginormous size had docked among the decrepit fishing vessels and pleasure cruisers.

The only people who looked fully awake were Milah, Neal and Emma. None of them had enjoyed Killian’s tab at the bar the night before.  Ruby gaped at the boat.  Pirate themed was one thing, but this…

Killian turned to Lacey and clasped her hands.  “I wanted it to be a surprise, but I couldn’t wait to see her.  What do you say?  Honeymoon cruise on our own ship?”

Lacey’s lips parted, her brow furrowed, as if she was too surprised to think of anything to say. But before she could recover herself, Killian turned to Milah and Neal.  “And we’ll need a few extra hands to sail the thing. So what do you say to a vacation on the high seas?”

*            *            *

Ruby didn’t catch up with Lacey until after lunch.  She’d disappeared into her room to sleep off her hangover.  But when she did run into her, coming out of the fitting rooms, Lacey took one look at her, grabbed her arm, and towed her out the door and away from the hotel.

“Where are we going?” Ruby asked, but Lacey just shook her head.

“Away,” she said, finally.

Ruby tugged her to a halt. “This way,” she said, and led her towards the woods.

In the shade of the trees, on a grassy hill, Lacey sank down to wrap her arms around her knees. Ruby settled in beside her. “I’d ask you what’s wrong, but I think I can guess.”

Lacey groaned, covering her face.  “The pirate theme has gone too far.”

“He bought a pirate ship.” Ruby half laughed, half sighed. “No one said foster kids would be good with money.”

“It’s not even that. I like sailing. It looks like a great yacht. But…”

“He didn’t buy it for you?”

“He bought it for Neal.” Lacey sighed.  “And it just goes to show how much of a bitch I am, that I’m pissed that he bought something really cool for the cute fatherless child in my care.”

Ruby frowned, watching her. She swallowed. “Is there… Is there something between him and Milah?”

Lacey snorted. “He _wishes_.”

Ruby froze. “What?”

Lacey glanced over at her. “Do you know how I met Killian?”

Ruby shook her head.

“Elliot was a collector, of all sorts of stuff, junk really, but expensive junk.  And he loved items from the age of sail. He invited Killian to our house to discuss his discoveries, and they became friends.  Killian was part of our social group, and at some point he met Milah.  Now I can’t blame him at all, but he fell head over heels for her.”

“ _What_?”

“She is hot.”

Ruby nodded. “Oh definitely.”

Lacey glanced over and huffed a small smile in her direction.  “Your brother agreed.  And he asked her out.  She shot him down flat.”

“…oh,” Ruby said. Suddenly, she wasn’t as surprised. Milah was tight and closed off, and being summarily dumped by her ex-husband probably hadn’t helped with that. And Killian was a dumbass unexpectedly rich playboy.  She wasn’t going to give him a chance.

“He kept trying for a long time.  Then Elliot died, and it was all a bit of a mess for a while.  But when I got cleared, he came around again, just wanting to be friends.  We were all friends, until maybe a year after the trial ended, when he asked me out. And the funny thing was, I knew he was still into Milah, but I didn’t care.  She wasn’t going to change, and he was hot and fun and a good guy, so I just… took him.  I take lots of things that I don’t deserve.”  Lacey was looking down, looking hurt, and Ruby hated it. She moved in, slipping an arm around her shoulders and pulling her into her chest.  Lacey unwound slightly, leaning into her, and breathing out.  The flutter of warm air brushing across Ruby’s neck made her shiver.

“But it’s Neal who’s the real problem.  Milah’s Milah, and she would rather hang than interfere in someone else’s life. But Killian loves Neal. He’d do anything for that kid. And I know he’s my stepson, but I don’t have any illusions about that.  He’s Milah’s kid.  But I feel like Killian thinks that by marrying me he’s marrying into the family.  But they’re not my _family_.”

“Have you talked to him about this?”

Lacey huffed out. “How?  How do I say ‘Neal isn’t part of the package’ without sounding like some child-hating anti-woman?”

“Kids don’t make you a woman.”

Lacey’s shoulders went stiff. “I never said that I don’t want kids.”

“Do you?”

“… no.”

Ruby pushed her away slightly. “Hmm, still got tits and a great ass and a perfect mouth.  Guess saying that doesn’t make you not a woman.”

Lacey looked at her and huffed out a laugh.  “God. I need to stop confessing myself to you.  You don’t need to know all my problems.”

“Some of them really aren’t _your_ problems.  If Killian hasn’t figured some of this stuff out yet, that’s his problem.”

“If I only ever tell you that I’m upset, that’s my problem.”  Lacey frowned, then shifted slightly, pushing up onto her knees. She pressed a light kiss against Ruby’s cheek.  “Thank you. I really do need to talk to him about this.”

Ruby went still. Lacey looked at her, seeing her expression, and grimaced.  Ruby knew that grimace, the one that said I can’t deal with your interest right now, I don’t want it. Sick to her stomach, she shook it off. She scrambled to her feet and offered Lacey a hand up.  “Then sort it out,” she said.  “Because otherwise, being stuck on board ship for a month with that crew will be explosions.”

*            *            *

That evening the bride’s party and the groom’s party split off to have their hen and stag nights, respectively.  Emma set up the babysitting sleepover for Neal, and Ruby blinked at her when she got back from dropping the kid off.

“You didn’t…”

Emma shrugged. “They’re close in age.”

“I didn’t know you were… seeing him.”

Emma’s eyes flicked over to her, suddenly soft.  “I never stopped.  Sometimes it was once a year, but I always went.  And… I’ve been going more recently.”

Ruby swallowed, suddenly thinking of the quiet young woman with the long dark braid who had sat at their kitchen table and drank tea, discussing with Granny the course of Emma’s future. “Are you… seeing her?”

Emma flinched hard. “I– no.  Not officially.”

“But you like her.” Ruby started to smile. “You want that.”

“I know kids were never your thing.  But Henry…”

“Honestly, I’d love to be the cool aunt.  And, you know, though not wanting kids doesn’t make you any less of a woman, wanting them also does not make you less of a person.  But is this going to go somewhere?  Am I even going to get to meet Henry again?”

Emma looked away. “I wanted to bring them to the wedding, but I’m too scared to ask.”

“Emma…”  Ruby rubbed her shoulders.  “Just ask.”

“Come on everyone!” Killian was leading the way to the docks, bearing a handle of rum.

Emma and Ruby exchanged a glance.  He sounded impatient, and he was the groom, he wasn’t supposed to be the one running the party.

“Dammit,” Ruby hissed. “I told her to talk to him.”

Emma’s eyes widened. “Lacey?  Did she—”

“She didn’t do anything with me!  She is _not interested_.  Honestly, I think you might be right, that there is a problem, but the problem isn’t with her.  I’m kind of worried Killian isn’t doing this for the right reasons.”

Emma looked stunned. “What?  What reasons?”

“His honeymoon plans, his boat, the pirate theme?  What if he’s trying to romance Milah by seducing her son?”

“He’s marrying _Lacey_.”

Ruby sighed, remembering watching Killian and Lacey last night, mostly drunk, grinding up on each other, exchanging wet, sexy kisses.  She remembered losing sight of them, and knowing that they had gone back to the hotel to fuck.  It wasn’t an attraction deficit.

“Ruby!” Killian was hanging by his knees from the rigging.  Most people were reasonably drunk by now.  The pirate themed strippers were supposed to show up soon, but Ruby couldn’t stop worrying about what Lacey might have said to him.

“Yeah, Kil? What is it?”

“You like Lacey, right?”

Ruby flinched. “Yeah, um, I like her a lot.”

“Emma doesn’t. Emma thinks she’s a gold digger.” He pouted.

“She’s not,” Ruby said.

“At least _one_ of my sisters likes my fiancée.” He pouted.

“Emma will get used to her.”

“She’s really great.” Killian nodded furiously and then looked like he was about to puke.  “I was worried she didn’t like the honeymoon idea, but she said that sailing was great and she thought it was totally sweet of me to want to share it with Neal and Milah.”

Ruby went tense. “Did she tell you anything else?”

Killian smiled lecherously. “Nothing for your ears.”

Ruby’s nearly bobbing hopes sank like a stone.

*            *            *

The party was still going strong when Ruby slipped back to the hotel.  It had been a disappointing night.  Strippers and drinking with the guys was fine, but it wasn’t the most fun.  Unpleasantly, she knew in her gut, that the reason she wasn’t happy was because she missed Lacey. But Lacey didn’t want her, and apparently didn’t even want to tell Killian that she was unhappy about the current state of affairs.

She found her way back to the room and sighed, finding her key card and opening the door.

It wasn’t empty.

Lacey was sitting on her bed, cross-legged, shoulders hunched, her hair loose and falling over her shoulders, and wearing nothing but dark blue lace underwear and a matching bra. Ruby went from aroused to confused to worried.  Lacey slowly looked up at her.

“So, I was going to pose all sexy or something, but then I lost my nerve.”

Ruby just stared at her. “You… lost your nerve?”

Lacey forced a smile and shrugged.  “Somehow, deciding to seduce your fiancé’s sister on the night before your rehearsal dinner takes a lot more nerve than you might think.”

So, not just losing her nerve to pose, but losing her nerve to sleep with Ruby. Ruby sighed and shrugged out of her coat and kicked off her boots.  “Look, I really need a shower.  But if you want to hang out for a few minutes more, I’d really like it if you’d tell me what’s wrong.”

Lacey covered her face. “Now this is just embarrassing.”

“Put on a t-shirt. Get under the covers.”

Lacey peeked out from behind her fingers and glared.  “Why are you such a grown up?”

Ruby looked at her, a little shocked.  Grown up? Her?  She was a mess about this.  It was the worst crush she’d had in years, and it was on her brother’s fiancée. There was no way it could end well. “I guess,” she said, “I want to put my best foot forward here.  Because if it goes okay with Killian, I want us to be friends. And if it all explodes, well,” Ruby gave it one thought, and then went for it.  She unbuttoned her jeans and shimmied out of them, then bent over to retrieve her pajama bottoms. Everyone liked it when she bent over. She glanced back at Lacey and smiled.  “Maybe I’ll have a chance with you, if you remember my… best assets.”

Lacey was wide eyed and a little pale.  Having done what she came to do, Ruby disappeared into the bathroom.

To her surprise, when she got out of the shower, her wet hair pinned up on her head, the tank top she wore to bed loose over her long men’s pajama pants, Lacey was in one of her t-shirts, and scrunched down under the covers.  Ruby slid in next to her and reached out, pulling her into her chest.  Lacey pressed into her and shut her eyes.  “This is so fucked up,” Lacey mumbled.

“What happened when you talked to him?”

“I started to explain, and I was trying not to sound like… a horrible person.  And he decided that I was worrying about being able to screw properly with other people around.  Apparently there’s soundproofing in the main cabin.”

Ruby couldn’t help laughing. Lacey squirmed into her, and Ruby felt lips brush against her neck.

“Not funny,” Lacey protested. “I was trying to express myself, and he thought I was worried about _sex_.”

“Can we really not talk about you sleeping with my brother?”  Ruby let her fingers slip into Lacey’s hair, and Lacey breathed in a short sharp breath, then relaxed into her.  “But why did that conversation make you try to… run away.”

“That’s what this was? Running away?”   Lacey groaned quietly. “I thought I was just drunk and wanted a shag.”

“My sister wants to catch us in flagrante delicto to stop the wedding.”  Ruby was suddenly a little disappointed that Emma didn’t have a keycard to her room.

Lacey grumbled. “He might have mentioned something about me needing to be nicer to Emma.  But I don’t _do_ that. If someone doesn’t like me, they don’t like me.  I don’t care. Especially if I don’t like them.”

“But coming here, knowing that someone just wants an excuse to end this, that looks a lot like running away.”

“If I wanted to cheat, I wouldn’t be dumb enough to get caught.”

Her body was warm under Ruby’s hands, and she was right there, in her bed. And if Ruby believed, like Emma, that Lacey would be terrible for her brother, she might make a move. If she believed that Lacey was actually going to leave him at the altar, she might drag her fingers up her spine and lean in to mouth at her neck.  But she didn’t believe either of those things, so she settled for being a friend, and holding her warmly, but chastely.

 _Make good choices._ She murmured to herself.  But what a good choice was when your brother’s fiancée was in your bed wearing only underwear and a t-shirt was rather difficult to determine.

*          *            *


	3. Day 3

On the morning of the rehearsal, Killian had scheduled a tour of the town.  As everyone intended to be very, very hung over that morning, the tour wasn’t scheduled to start until half-past eleven. 

At half-five, Ruby woke to her alarm, jarring Lacey to wakefulness as well.

“Oh my god, it’s still dark out.  Why are you _up_?”

“The boats should be coming in,” said Ruby, popping an aspirin but mostly shaking off the hangover. She hadn’t been in the mood for fun last night, and was definitely not regretting it this morning. “I need to get fish.”

Suddenly interested, Lacey dragged herself up into a sitting position.  “You’re going to pick out the fish for the dinner tonight?”

“Yup.”

“Let me get dressed! I’m coming with you.”

“Dress warm! It’ll be cold down there!”

Lacey slipped from Ruby’s room to her own with no threat of discovery. Everyone else was still out cold. Ruby met her in the lobby, and smiled at her designer jeans and snazzy cardigan.  “Here,” she said, tossing Lacey an old CIA sweatshirt. “I know that you like to get your hands dirty.  Better get this one wrecked than anything else.”

They made their way down to the docks in the cool morning mist and found their way to the ice stands on the wharf, laying out the first catch of the day.

Ruby was surprised at how interested Lacey was in everything, asking questions about the way she tested the fish, describing her own favorite sashimi experiences, occasionally using a fish as a puppet.  By the time the mist had cleared off, they had a selection that would serve for the rehearsal dinner, and more besides.

“I forgot to ask,” Ruby said. “Are your parents coming in for the rehearsal?”

Lacey went still. “I, no.  I don’t speak to my father anymore.”

Her voice was so hard and strained that Ruby didn’t know what to ask.  So she didn’t.   
“Not Killian’s either.  Granny died, gosh, was it six years ago?” Ruby swallowed.  Most days it felt like she was still there, just on the end of the phone or down the hall.  “So that means it’s you, me, Killian, Emma, Milah, Neal, Smee…” She counted up the wedding party.  They definitely had enough fish.

As they walked back up towards the hotel, Ruby couldn’t help thinking of what Granny would have said about this clusterfuck of a wedding.  “Children marrying children,” she’d say.  “It’s like watching a four year old break eggs.”

The marinades were marinating and the refrigerators were refrigerating by the time Killian and Co. started dragging themselves in for breakfast.  Ruby and Lacey split up and went to shower and change, leaving the fish under careful instructions with the hotel staff, who were not well pleased at having their routines disrupted.  But Killian had nearly bought the hotel, so they did what was asked.

“Lacey!” Killian said, not quite as chipper as usual, inhaling eggs and coffee.  “Where were you this morning?  I didn’t get back to the room until eight, but I expected you to be crashed out there.”

Ruby tensed.

But Lacey just smiled and poured herself coffee.  “I was already up,” she said.  “Ruby and I went down to the docks at six to pick out the fish.”

Killian looked appalled. “At _six?_ Who are you, and where’s my Lacey!”  Then he turned to Ruby with a rakish eyebrow. “You didn’t let her near the kitchen did you?  This girl could burn water.”

“She was fine,” Ruby said. “Even helped with the marinades.”

Killian laughed, a little confused.  “You said you’re terrible at cooking.”

“I said I hated cooking,” Lacey clarified. “I’m not incompetent.  It’s just not something I do for fun.”

The tour set off at noon. Emma walked next to Ruby for the first few blocks, noticing curiously that Ruby’s gaze hardly moved from Lacey, half wound up in Killian’s grasp.

“Was this a bad idea?” Emma asked.

“What?” Ruby startled and glanced at her. 

“To tell you to get close to her and see if she would make a move.”

Ruby looked a little sick. “I… I don’t think it would have made much of a difference.  It’s just a crush.  I’ll get over it.”

Emma pressed her lips together. ‘just a crush’ was a little bit like saying ‘just a tsunami.’ “And she hasn’t tried anything on with you?”

Ruby sighed. “She’s been thinking about it. She slept in my bed last night.”

“ _What_?”

“It’s not because of me, or of her being a ho.  Killian’s being insensitive.  She was upset. Nothing happened.”

“She spent the night in your bed.”

“Platonically.”

Emma gave her a rather pitying look.  “Fucking crushes.”

Ruby didn’t notice how, but at some point, possibly on Mifflin Street, Emma disappeared entirely. And when they walked past the old high school, Lacey ended up next to her, leaving Killian in a crowd of his guy friends.

“And this is the swing set where I swung higher than anyone,” Lacey mocked. “And here’s the fence where I broke a little boy’s nose.”

Ruby grinned at her. “You didn’t mind when I was showing you our fort under the wharf.”

“But that was cool, not just bragging.”  Lacey caught her arm and bumped her shoulder into Ruby’s bicep.

Ruby glanced down a side street.  “I wonder if the old castle is still there,” she said.

Lacey followed her glance, then took a look at the rest of the party, heading away.  “Come on,” she said, tugging Ruby down the side way. “Lets find out.”

Separated from the rest of the group, Lacey hanging on her arm, Ruby could fall into her fantasy world. It lasted right until they rounded a corner and came upon a man walking his dog.  He turned.  Ruby saw his face, and froze.

He saw her, his face freezing as well.  “Ruby,” he said, his voice like ice.

“Peter.”

“I didn’t know you were town.” His tone made it easy to fill in the subtext ‘or I would have avoided you.’

“Killian’s … getting married.”

If anything, Peter looked only colder.  “I didn’t think any of you Lucases had a reason to be back here.  Your ties are gone, and you were never really Storybrooke people.”

Lacey was looking back and forth between them, reading the tension.  She slipped in, her arm curling around Ruby’s waist in an oddly possessive gesture. Peter’s eyes fell on her, and he scowled.

“Your girlfriend?” Oddly, Lacey thought, he could have used ‘slut’ and it wouldn’t have sounded less impolite.

Ruby tensed. Lacey took point. “Yes,” she said. “And you’re Peter, right? I’m sorry, but she’s never said anything about you.”

The rage on his face was almost ugly, and the bewilderment on Ruby’s was comical. Lacey turned to her, clasping her hand and lacing their fingers together.  With her free hand she reached up, rubbing at an imaginary spot on Ruby’s cheek. “You said you were going to show me the castle,” she said, and then lifted up on her toes and leaned in, pressing a kiss against Ruby’s mouth.

She heard Peter curse in disgust, and stomp off, dragging his dog behind him. But Ruby was kissing her back, just softly, gently, and Lacey didn’t want to break it off quite yet.

Ruby was the one who did, finally, giving her a look that was half confused and half aroused. It was a very sexy look on her. “What was that about?”

“He was being an asshole,” Lacey said.  “And he looked like the type that would gloat about you being single.”

Ruby sighed and pulled her into a hug.  A little surprised, Lacey went with it regardless.

“I broke his heart,” she said. “Ripped it out of his chest, I think he said.”

“He’s still an asshole,” Lacey replied.

“He was my boyfriend in high school. He told me he was in love with me the day before he caught me hooking up with one of the summer girls.  He was pissed that I was cheating on him, and he outed me, but I wasn’t the one who looked like an idiot. I owned being gay and admitted I was sleeping with him without being attracted to him. People said he had turned me. He took it pretty hard.”

“Clearly.  It’s been ten years and he still thinks it’s an excuse to be a douche to you?”

“Well, when he started most of the school talking trash about me, Killian beat him up. He fell off the curb and broke his arm and that football season was over for him.” Ruby smiled slightly and gave her a light squeeze around the waist.  “I got out of town.  All of us Lucases did.  And he didn’t, probably because of that arm.  He’s got a reason to hate us.”

Lacey glanced up at her, at her tired but warm expression, at the wide curve of her lips, and thought for one very clear moment about her mouth working its way up her chest and sucking seals into her neck.  It was really hot, and she wanted to kiss her again.  But she didn’t.

*            *            *

The rehearsal was just crazy enough for Ruby to manage to forget what exactly they were rehearsing. It was all, people here, there, hands, pairings, no fidgeting.  And Ruby just wanted to run and make sure that the preparations for dinner were going to be fine.  As soon as she could, she did.

Everyone, except Killian, loved the dinner.  Killian whined, and finally, Lacey just handed him a plate of crispy salmon skin rolls and ignored him for the rest of the time, taking the opportunity to hang by the counter and watch Ruby cut and roll and shape.

It was only afterwards that the shit hit the fan.

Ruby had gotten clean up going and then left it to the actual workers, and slipped out to grab some tea to recover.  Lacey and Killian were collapsed on a sofa, Lacey leaning over one arm to talk to one of the girls in her party, and Killian drinking coffee with Neal sitting on his knees.

“I loved the idea, you know,” the girl was saying.  “Moving up here, reopening the diner.  It’s just so quaint!”

Ruby swiveled. Lacey’s eyes were wide with shock. “What?”

“Oh yes, you weren’t there when we walked past the diner.” The girl smiled, giving Killian a flirty look. “He bought it!”

Lacey whirled, jerking up out of the couch, turning to Killian.  “You did _what_?”

Killian looked surprised. “I just couldn’t stand seeing the diner all boarded up.  I was thinking, now that all the collection’s been dealt with, that I needed a new career. I want to reopen the diner. Storybrooke’s a great town. I can dock my yacht here, and it’s a wonderful place for kids to grow up.”

“Neal isn’t my kid!” Lacey nearly screamed.

Killian gaped. “I meant… our kids too,” he said.

“You didn’t ask me!”

Killian pushed Neal gently off his knee and glared at Lacey for yelling in front of him.  “It’s my money.  I didn’t think I had to get your permission for spending my own money.”

“It’s my _life_.  I’m from the _city_. I hate this shithole of a town! There’s nothing here, except fish and homophobes.  But you weren’t thinking about me, were you?  Only yourself, and _Neal._ God, Killian, you and Elliot are the same.  Just because you think it’s right doesn’t mean I want any part of it!”

Lacey spun and stormed out of the room.

Ruby looked between her and Killian, who had stood up, looking confused.  “Kil… you’re going after her, right?”

“What did I do wrong? I thought she liked surprises.”

Ruby punched him. “Don’t you get it? All she wants is to be able to choose for herself, and you keep taking that away from her!”

“But I’m done with the city! She knows that! We’ve talked about that. She always says she hates living in the city too. Why is it a deal breaker now? And I didn’t want kids before, but I’m allowed to change my mind.  And what’s her problem?  Women always want kids.”

“Oh my god,” Ruby said, and turned and ran after Lacey.

Ruby was fast, but Lacey was clearly impassioned, because she didn’t catch up until Lacey had already stopped.  She was sitting on a bench, down by the water, looking out over the evening bay. Her mascara had run, and her knees were tucked up to her chest, protectively.

“Hey,” Ruby said softly.

“Of course it’s you,” Lacey mumbled.  “You’d actually be a good girlfriend.  I’m so fucking cursed.”

Ruby sank down on the bench beside her.  “I don’t think Killian is trying to be a dick.”

“No.” Lacey buried her face in her hands.  “No. That’s the worst part. The worst of it is, this is all my fault.”

Ruby reached out and laid a tentative hand on her shoulder.  Lacey flinched and she jerked it back, but then, slowly, Lacey shifted towards her until their sides were pressed together.  “I don’t think it’s all on you,” Ruby said.

“I’m good at two things,” Lacey said, “Being a terrible person, and being what men want. I’ve basically been a terrible person to you, so you actually know me.”

“Terrible?”

Lacey looked up and gave her a raccoon glare and a raised eyebrow.  “I flirt with you and blow you off, I use you for comfort but give you nothing in return.  I show up in your room in lingerie and then decide not to fuck you.  I make you choose between me and your brother.  Is that not terrible?”

Ruby couldn’t help but smile. “Maybe a little.”

“At least I tell you the truth though.  Because with men it’s just so easy to say what they want me to say, to agree, to smile, to brush their ego.  And hey, I got a man to leave his wife for me, I’m so good at it.”

“So you lied about hating the city, about wanting kids, about liking the idea of a pirate themed wedding?”

Lacey groaned. “Everyone says they hate the city. I do hate the city. It doesn’t mean I want to live in Bumfuck Maine.  I never lied about wanting kids, but I always said ‘I dunno, maybe some day, but not right now.’  And I really, really do not have a problem with the pirates.  I just have a problem with… with Killian getting everything he wants.”

“I think…” Ruby said slowly, “that if he just hears what you say and not what you mean, it’s still his problem.”

Lacey looked up at her. “Fuck,” she said, then rose up on her knees and kissed her. It wasn’t the easy coupley kiss from earlier that day.  It was a dark one, an intense rough kiss, all teeth and pressing lips and probing tongue. Ruby couldn’t help herself from gasping, and then sinking into it, desperately.

“I just,” Lacey gasped between kisses, “wish you… weren’t so… _nice_.” Ruby’s hands were on her now, and she was kissing back, mouths open, hot and wet.  Lacey’s fingers curled into her hair. She nipped at her lower lip and then sucked on it to soothe. “I want to… fuck you… all the time.” Ruby broke the kiss and went for her throat.  She’d wanted it for ages, wanted to bite and suck and lick. Lacey groaned and clung tighter, her hips jerking into her.  “Fuck me.  Fuck me right here.”

Ruby’s hands slid up her skirt, caressing the smooth hot skin they found there.  Lacey was straddling her knees, and her hips were already bucking. Ruby twitched aside her underwear and slid in, two long fingers, crooked to hit the spot, and Lacey cried out and swore desperately into her shoulder. It was just getting off, a rough circling thumb, other hand up her shirt, under her bra, groping and grinding, and Lacey coming under her hands, her hair wild and in Ruby’s face, her rough pants in her ear. 

“Holy _shit_.”

Ruby jerked, pulling out and wiping her hand on her jeans.  It was Emma, her hands in her pockets, gaping, horror struck.

“Oh my god, I said I wanted to catch you, but not fucking on a bench!”

Lacey let out a small moan and pressed her face into Ruby’s shoulder.  “Look at me.  Running the fuck away.”

Ruby softly stroked her hair. “Emma,” she said. “This isn’t your business.”

“Not my business?! This is our brother who’s life you’re ruining! You fell for her, didn’t you! And now you’re stealing her?”

“I’m not stealing her!” Ruby hissed.  “She’s her own person, and she makes her own decisions.”

“Like screwing you on a park bench?”

“Shut up!” Lacey screamed. “This is _my_ life I’m fucking up.  You can both go hang!”

Ruby looked like she’d been slapped.

Lacey slid off of her, scrambling to her feet and pulling down her dress.  She glared at Emma.  “Everything here is my fault,” she said.  “So don’t…” She shook her head. “I don’t want to ruin your relationship with your brother.  I don’t want to—” She looked at Ruby, reaching out her hand in an aborted gesture. “I’m going to be terrible to you again. I keep using you to try to run away, and I know I’m hurting you.  And not actually following through with running away doesn’t make it better. You’re my rock here, and I keep grinding you down.” She pressed a hand to her eyes. “Emma.  Don’t… don’t tell him about this.  I’m going to talk to him, really talk. So just, you don’t need to. I don’t want him to blame Ruby for my shit.”

“Are you going to dump him?”

Lacey looked sick. “I don’t know.”

Emma groaned. “You really are a no good, gold-digging, two-timing whore, aren’t you?” she spat.

Lacey looked to Ruby, who couldn’t respond, this all hurt too much, and then back to Emma. She sighed. “Yeah,” she said. “Yeah, I am.”

*            *            *

Killian was in the bathroom when Lacey made it back to the hotel.  Lacey grimaced, feeling the stickiness of her underwear, the sweat at her nape and between her breasts, still feeling Ruby’s hands on her, her mouth at her neck, her sweet intensity and stupidly selfless kindness, that Lacey had happily ground into the dirt.

When Killian stepped out of the bathroom he took one look at her and flinched.  “What’d you do?  Go out and get laid?”

Lacey nodded. “Needed a fucking,” she said.

“No kidding.” Killian rolled his eyes. “What was _up_ with you in there?”

“You’re not bothered? You’re not upset that the night before our _wedding_ I go out and sleep with someone else.”

Killian shrugged. “It obviously wasn’t very good, or you wouldn’t be back.”

That was Killian’s pissed attitude.  He was so angry he didn’t care at all.

“Actually, it was really hot,” Lacey sneered back at him.  “I haven’t come that fast since I was a teenager.”

“And that’s all you care about, isn’t it?  You still _are_ a teenager.”  Killian’s lip curled.  “You just want to spend a guy’s money, get fucked regularly, and party your life away.  Grown ups make decisions. They have lives. That’s what getting married is _about_ , making choices and changing your life!”

“I have a life! I have an apartment and a career and a city that I _love_. I hate it too, but that doesn’t mean I want to leave it.  And it’s not because I’m a child. I like the parties and the restaurants and the liquor, but I like the city because I can be _myself_ there.  I don’t have to be the good daughter or the hot co-ed or the sexy young wife.  I can be _Lacey_. I fit there.  I don’t have to want kids.  I can be as driven as I please.  I can fuck boys or girls or inbetweeners and it doesn’t _matter_.  I thought you got that.  I thought you were a city sort of guy.”

“Maybe I was once, but I want to grow up!  That’s why I wanted to get married.  I wanted… something else.”

“You wanted to become someone that Milah would be interested in, someone stable and dependable and caring,” Lacey said. “And you thought you could prove it by marrying me.  You idiot.”

Killian stiffened. “I’m not still in love with Milah.”

Lacey rubbed her temple. “Why not?  She’s hot, especially dressed as a pirate. She’s got a cute kid that you adore. She’s mature and sensible and tired of the city, but can’t leave because she needs to network to sell her jewelry.  She would probably hate running a diner, though, so maybe you should talk to her before you make unilateral decisions.  Most women don’t like having all the decisions made for us.”

“But I love you.”

Lacey sank down on the bed. “I’m not what you _want_.”

“We can… we can figure this out.”  He put an arm around her shoulder.

“I banged your sister,” Lacey mumbled.

Killian frowned. “What?”

Lacey looked up, expression creased.

“I really didn’t hear you.”

“Doesn’t matter.”

“Lacey…” He squeezed her tightly to him.

“I wasn’t ever in love with you.” She said, resting her head on his shoulder.  “I mean, I love you, you’re a good guy, and sexy. But… I don’t know if I’ve ever really been in love with anyone.”

“Isn’t that… normal?”

“I dunno.  Maybe.”

“Do you wanna…” he pressed a bristly kiss to her neck, and she flinched away.

“ _No_.”  Lacey stood up and glared at him.  “I already got some tonight.  I’m done. And I need you to think about this, and not just think with your _dick_. If you want me, you have to want _me_.  And I am _not_ leaving the city to live here. I am not adopting Neal away from his mom. I am not going to just bend over backwards whenever you want something.  So if you show up to the wedding tomorrow, that’s our contract. Okay?”

Lacey bent down and grabbed the silk robe and brief nightdress that she occasionally actually slept in, and went to the door.  “I’m sleeping somewhere else,” she said.  “Think about it.”

*            *            *

Ruby’s door was just there, and her comfort was tempting.  Lacey swallowed, watching it.  But actually going in… She knew she’d end up naked with her head between her legs if she went in.  And if it were just herself she was fucking over, she would do it in a heartbeat. But she’d already seen Ruby’s broken face once tonight.  She didn’t think she could handle seeing it again.

*            *            *

Back down at the bench, Emma sank down next to Ruby.  “Fuck,” she said.

Ruby said nothing.

“I’m sorry I told you to stay near her.  I didn’t think you’d…”

“I’m not in love with her,” Ruby snapped.  “You had no right to say that.”

Emma flinched.

“You also had no right to call her a no good, gold-digging, two-timing whore.”

“I didn’t?”

“People make _mistakes_ Emma, you included.  And if you don’t recall certain events, I ran into Peter today, so maybe I’m a little sensitive about being called out on shit like that. Not that you called her a cheating slutty dyke, but you could have, if you’d felt like it.”

“So you’re okay with being a mistake?” Emma snapped back.

“Better hope your _son_ is!”

Emma slapped her. Ruby growled and then grabbed her hair and pulled.  They scrabbled on the bench, all nails and hair pulling.

“I hate you!”

“I hate you too!”

Emma finally gave in. She slumped back against the bench and groaned.  “I asked them to the wedding.  Not as a date, just as… I dunno, a wedding.  Regina said she’d think about it.”

“I’m sorry.”

Emma shrugged. “At least I don’t have to watch my crush marry my brother.”

“Honestly,” Ruby said softly. “It maybe hella arrogant, but I don’t think I’m the mistake.  I think she’ll be miserable with Killian.  And I think she knows it, which is why she keeps running away. But how do you dump someone you love, who loves you, just because you think it won’t work out in the future?”

Emma narrowed her eyes. “Are you planning on settling in and waiting for a chance at the rebound?”

“ _No_.”  Ruby made a face. “That’s pathetic.”

Emma smirked at her. “I know.”

*            *            *


	4. Day 4

The morning of the wedding dawned bright and beautiful.  The guests who weren’t in the wedding party were filing in.  Most of them had at least an earring or an eye patch to honor the theme.  Ruby, enjoying the duties of the receiving line as much as she would have the ninth circle of hell, still smiled when a boy in a pressed shirt and a carefully tailored jacket exclaimed, “Everyone’s pirates here!”

His mother, a striking woman with a long dark braid, was looking rather nonplussed.  Ruby dropped to her knee in front of the boy. “Aye, we are all pirates here, matey,” she teased him. “For this is the marriage of Captain Hook!”

The little boy gaped. Ruby took off her hat, marked with a rather garish skull and crossbones that Killian’s best mate had put on her before she left the dressing room, and placed it on the boy’s head. “There,” she said, “Now you’re attired properly, cabin boy.”

The boy looked elated. “Mother!  This is the best wedding ever!”

Emma, alerted by the cry, swiveled, and she looked from the boy and his mother to Ruby.  She took two hesitating steps forward. “You… you came,” she said. Ruby blinked.

“Shit,” she said, and then covered her mouth in horror.  “This is Henry?”

The boy grinned. “Yep!  I’m Henry.” He recognized Emma in her regalia and his eyes went wide.  “Emma! Oh _wow_!”  He ran to her and started inspecting all her piratical accoutrements.

The boy’s mother blinked, looking a little flushed.  “Emma. You didn’t say that it was a pirate themed wedding.”

“Um, I forgot?”

Emma looked awkward, and Ruby couldn’t help but laugh.  “How could you forget?  Besides the fact that it’s a bloody disaster, that’s the most important thing about it!” Then she narrowed her eyes. “I know why you forgot. You were too anxious about asking this lovely woman to be your date.”

Emma blanched, and Henry’s mom… Regina, Ruby thought she remembered her name was, went dark with embarrassment.

“ _Ruby,”_ Emma hissed.

But it was time for a little vengeance. “And you didn’t even introduce me to my nephew. I can be Aunt Ruby, right?” She grinned.  “I’ve always wanted to be an aunt.”

Henry gasped. “I have a pirate for an aunt?”

“And an uncle, if the groom ever shows up to his own wedding,” Ruby said, glancing around, a little worriedly.  She hadn’t been paying much attention during the rehearsal, too worried about the food, so she wasn’t certain if the happy couple was supposed to appear before the service, or just after it.  She was pretty sure that Milah and Neal were supposed to be here, but if there was some crisis or other, they might have been pulled back in.

“You never did ask me to be your date,” Regina said softly.

Emma looked horribly awkward. “I… meant to.  Um.”

Ruby elbowed her. “Ask _now_ ,” she hissed.

“Um, may I ask now? Be my date to the wedding?”

Regina glanced around, as if taking in all the watchers, but none of them were really paying attention, besides Henry and Ruby, who were transfixed.  “I… yes,” she said.  And then she actually almost smiled.  “If you’d like.”

Emma was grinning like an idiot, and Ruby kicked her until she took her son and date off to find seats.

The room filled. The organ played sea shanties. Ruby stood awkwardly up by the altar, near the fat old priest who kept burping and pretending he was a sea captain.  The pirate theme had made the whole audience eager and excited.  But Killian, Lacey, Milah and Neal were nowhere to be seen.

“You’re a handsome boy,” The priest said, smacking her on the arm.  Ruby looked at him.  “Whoops, young lady.  Now where’s this girl you’re marrying.”

“Uh, I’m not…”

There was a scuffle at the back of the church and the door opened.

“Ah, good! The bride’s arrived!”

The priest signaled the organ who broke out into a sedate version of ‘a bottle of rum,’ and a procession indeed did proceed down the aisle.  It was led by Lacey, looking determined if a bit bruised with tiredness around the eyes, and it was utterly disorganized, as neither the Matron of Honor nor the ringbearer were in the appropriate positions.  Lacey hurried up the steps and turned to Ruby. “What the hell’s going on?” she hissed.

Ruby shrugged. “No idea.  You look cute.”

Lacey gave her a suspicious glare.  But it was only the truth.  She looked a bit like a shipwrecked young lady, and her ballet flats made her charmingly tiny. Ruby was well pleased by the sturdy heeled boots that she’d gotten, just so she could be of a height with Milah.  She kind of wanted to put her chin on Lacey’s head.

“Welcome everyone!” the priest announced.  “We, mates and crewmen and naval officers, are gathered together today to celebrate a great occasion.”

Lacey looked horrified. “Is he _drunk_?”

“I think so,” Ruby said. “Any sign of Killian?”

“You’re the best man. _I_ wasn’t _supposed_ to see him this morning.”

Just then, Emma came panting up the steps.  “So, um,” she whispered to them.  “The ship’s gone. And Killian, Milah, and Neal, and the, er, blank marriage license, are missing.  Rumor is, they eloped.”

Ruby choked.  Then she looked at Lacey whose mouth had fallen open. Then, slowly, her shock began to lighten; she started to smile.  “That’s… that’s really great.”

Emma gaped at her. “What?  Your fiancé just eloped with someone else.”

“I _know_.”  Lacey grinned.  “I don’t have to marry him now.  I don’t have to… god, I don’t have to do _anything_!” Abruptly, she threw her arms around Ruby and hugged her.  “Do you want to go on a date?  When we get back to New York, do you think we could?  Like an actual date, that doesn’t involve me whining to you about my relationship problems?”

Ruby laughed, utterly stunned. “I, um, yes?  Yes.  Definitely.”

“Guys,” Emma hissed. “Can you do this later? Everyone is looking at us like we’re crazy.”

“Are we ready to have a _wedding_?” The priest asked, rather more gleefully than seemed appropriate. “Mateys?”

“Actually,” Emma started.

Lacey gave her a shove. “Let’s do it,” she said.

“ _What?”_ Ruby gaped at her.  “You’re not serious.”

“Of course not. But the license is gone, so it wouldn’t be for serious anyways.  And everyone here is expecting a piratical wedding.  Let’s give them one.  And then we can have the party.  Because I am really, really in the mood to party.”

At some point she’d caught up Ruby’s hand and was giving it a tight squeeze.  Ruby just grinned.  It was probably going to be a problem in the future, but she found that it was really quite difficult to say no to Lacey.  “All right.  Let’s do it.”

Lacey grinned, and bit her lip, and clearly was fiercely restraining herself from kissing her.

The actual ceremony was full of very poor pirate jokes, and pauses for them to fill in their names. The rest of the bridal party was looking rather bemused by the whole situation and occasionally leaning over to whisper in each other’s ears.  But Lacey was looking lighter and happier than she had since Ruby had met her, and it was too hard to keep herself from grinning in pleasure and amusement, so she didn’t.

“Now kiss your wench!”

Ruby laughed and pulled Lacey into her.  Lacey’s hands came up to cup her cheeks, and Ruby kissed her thoroughly.  There was rather more wild cheering than expected.

Emma got to the reception first and told the DJ to turn the music up.  Lacey hung off of Ruby on the way over.  The other members of the bridal party were a bit shocked, but the rumors about the missing yacht and suspected elopement spread quickly.

“Good for you,” said Smee, slapping Ruby on the back.  “Stepping in for your brother, just like a best man should.  Don’t know if I would have had the balls.”

Ruby laughed, still a little stunned by everything herself. But Lacey was steady and warm and pressed into her.  “Well, you know, he warned me.  He picked me to be best man over Emma because he knew I’d stand up for it.”

Smee’s eyes bugged. “You mean he planned this the whole time?”

“What?  No!”  Ruby glanced at Lacey who was looking horrified.  “At least I hope not.”

The photographer took pictures of everyone. Ruby managed to get one with her chin on Lacey’s head.

As evening fell, people started to leave or pass out on the tables, Ruby found Lacey leaning over the balcony railing, looking out to sea.

Ruby looked as well, but her brother’s yacht was long gone.

“You doing okay?” she asked softly.

“Mmm,” Lacey replied. “Trying to get less drunk.”

“You don’t want to be drunk?”

Lacey turned, grinning up at her, lecherously.  “I don’t want to black out on sleeping with you.”

Ruby had thought she was out of blushes for the day, but apparently not. “You want to do it tonight? On the night of your wedding?”

“It’s a wedding night,” Lacey drawled.  “It’s meant for consummating.” she tugged on Ruby’s collar and pulled her down to kiss her.

“I did promise you a date,” Ruby murmured.

“We’ve had a date,” Lacey said.  “That time, lunch, when I didn’t tell you my real name.  That was a pretty good date, wasn’t it?”

Ruby laughed. “Yeah, pretty good.”

“All right. Then I’m not a ho. We’ve gone on a date. And we got married. It’s totally legit for me to get all up in your business now.”

“You’re not just rebounding on me, are you?”

Lacey pulled her down until their eyes were level and gave her a fierce look.  “The thing people forget about rebounds,” she said, “is they’re a great way to score.”

Ruby snorted.

“And if you score a lot,” Lacey smiled. “You win the game.”

Ruby kissed her.

Then they had a lot of sex.

 

FIN


End file.
